Love Song from My Future Self
— after Jorie Graham
I have survived, astonished,
into the middle of a new century.
How do I reconcile
such fortune? I've indulged
the abysses in every blessing —
let my light fall prey
to so many who readily
use frailty to raise walls
against their own dissolution.
I've mapped the tender,
the broken, the ache, tried
not to give in to a life
of writing in anger —
of holding the glass as the sun
illumined all its flaws.
But the earth said
remember me.
I remember whales
drowned in human livelihood —
birds seething plastic —
the air's secret darkness
unmaking our lungs. I remember
not knowing how to wield my voice.
What could I offer other than resignation
as my life settled into a gaunt blur
which held only
all I failed to salvage? So now
I strive to square the debt
that is my breath — to disavow
siren Despair — because if grief
is yearning with no one to ease it,
to write in anger
is the only way to write in love.